I am no longer a teenager, which makes me feel weird. Honestly, when people ask me how old I am, I still want to reply, "19!" but I can't. I'm 20. The big two zero. That number seems so large and ominous, like a fourth of my life just whizzed by in a blink of an eye.
When I was younger, the age of 20 seemed so far away. Even two days ago, 20 seemed so far away. I liked being a teenager, because people expected teenagers to mess up, to make mistakes and learn from them. When you reach 20, it's supposed to be different. You're supposed to grow up, and that right there is what I'm afraid of.
I don't want to grow up. I'm pretty sure half of the adults I've met haven't wanted to grow up either. After college is when all the big decisions come into play, where you start to meld into the ever changing society. Eventually, us kids will become those adults we hate. The ones who tell us what to do and how to do it. It will not be a fun process.
I know I haven't blogged in awhile. I should do it more often, but it's hard when there is so much pressure from school. I have constant reading and papers. It really is starting to drive me crazy. Last week I had a break, yet I feel like I need another one.
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