When do we hit the point where we have our lives figured out? Ever since I can remember, I used to look at adults and think, one day, I'm going to be like them. It seemed like a simple formula that you just grew to know, yet I feel like I didn't study the right cards.
I'm realizing now that the people who looked so secure when I was younger probably weren't. Maybe this struggle is lifelong, and that idea scares me. It's really difficult trying to break out on your own, and I think it's something that many people forget and ignore. It takes a lot of hard work to get to a point where you can sit back, relax, and look at your life with ease.
Just trying to work my way alone through a big city like San Francisco was hard enough. It became easier when I figured out what to do, but that momentary panic that pierced through me was enough to send me running. I'm getting older, yet I'm grasping onto the idea that I'm still a kid, and I don't know if that ever goes away. Do you always just feel like some clueless child for the rest of your life? I'm waiting for the day that I can proudly say I grew up. I'm hoping it comes soon.
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